Hi Gang,
I’m not sure why
this topic makes me laugh, but it does.
I love the idea of “smart” insults.
When someone really irritates me or when my brothers and I get together,
we enjoy verbal sparring. I’m not a fan
of vulgarities, I don’t like swearing, and I enjoy leaving people scratching
their heads wondering if they’ve just been insulted. I’ve collected several erudite insults from
famous people to give you a few examples.
Check these out:
A
member of Parliament to Disraeli: "Sir, you will either die on the gallows
or of some unspeakable disease."· "That depends, Sir," said
Disraeli, "whether I embrace your policies or your mistress."·
"He
had delusions of adequacy." - Walter Kerr·
"He
has all the virtues I dislike and none of the vices I admire." -Winston
Churchill· "
I
have never killed a man, but I have read many obituaries with great
pleasure." Clarence Darrow·
"He
has never been known to use a word that might send a reader to the
dictionary." - William Faulkner (about Ernest Hemingway).·
"Thank
you for sending me a copy of your book; I'll waste no time reading it."
- Moses Hadas·
"I
didn't attend the funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying I approved of
it." - Mark Twain·
"He
has no enemies, but is intensely disliked by his friends.." - Oscar
Wilde·
"I
am enclosing two tickets to the first night of my new play; bring a friend, if
you have one." - George Bernard Shaw to Winston
Churchill·"Cannot possibly attend first night, will attend second ... if
there is one." - Winston Churchill, in response.·
"I
feel so miserable without you; it's almost like having you here." -Stephen
Bishop·
"He
is a self-made man and worships his creator." - John Bright·
"I've
just learned about his illness. Let's hope it's nothing trivial." -Irvin
S. Cobb·
"He
is not only dull himself; he is the cause of dullness in others." -Samuel
Johnson·
"He
is simply a shiver looking for a spine to run up." - Paul Keating·
"In
order to avoid being called a flirt, she always yielded easily." -Charles,
Count Talleyrand·
"He
loves nature in spite of what it did to him." - Forrest Tucker·
"Why
do you sit there looking like an envelope without any address on it?"
- Mark Twain·
"His
mother should have thrown him away and kept the stork." - Mae West·
"Some
cause happiness wherever they go; others, whenever they go." -Oscar Wilde·
"He
uses statistics as a drunken man uses lamp-posts... for support rather than
illumination." - Andrew Lang (1844-1912)·
"He
has Van Gogh's ear for music." - Billy Wilder·
"I've
had a perfectly wonderful evening. But this wasn't it."
– Groucho
For
this week’s blog, you need to share at least three “smart” insults. They can be your own creations, or something
you have found from another source. If
they are from another source, be sure you credit the source, as done
above.
The
rules:
- You must
have three separate insults
- You must
credit the source – if, like many above, you can share who the insult was
intended for too, please do
- You must use
language appropriate for MY 90-year old grandmother (no vulgarities!)
- You must
spell check and grammar check your post
- You must
sign your post
Have fun with this!
Ms. Mott
